Hey Dad, chill out!
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Parenting is complex and very challenging work. Yes, it is also very rewarding, but its work. Today, in Ephesians 6, verse 4 really jumped out as a father.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” - Ephesians 6:4 NIV
Dad’s don’t exasperate your children! Just so we are clear, the definition of exasperate is: to irritate and frustrate (someone) intensely. Right now dads, you may be irritated with me...wondering why we jumped past verse 1 about kids obeying your parents. Yeah, I get that, it’s important and I can press into that later, but I want to speak to myself right now, and all dads. Dad’s, what battles are we choosing to fight with the kids? What rules [consistent & inconsistent] are being delivered, what emotional reaction do the kids get when you are triggered? What areas of our lives lack integrity because we require some action or behavior but yet we don’t model it? Don’t forget, kids learn much of their behavior and attitudes from observing us.
A little side bar, I HIGHLY recommend Carol Dwecks book Mindset. It is not a parenting book, however its an amazing book for parents to understand to the power of Mindsets [Growth and Fixed.] If you don’t want to invest the time in the book, you can check out her Ted Talk here.
Back on topic, but lets recap. Dad’s, stop it with the nagging and whipping your kids to death. But, it doesn’t stop there, Paul give a transition statement and give clear direction what to do.
“...instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” - Ephesians 6:4b NIV
💥 boom. Model Christ to them. As I discussed above, part of this is modeling the growth mindset to them. Beyond modeling, we must dive in and teach and train them in the Lord. This may sound intimidating, but what I know is when I am teaching and training, I learn the most. Being intentional about opening God’s word and teaching it is when I grow the most. How are we teaching the majors with them, yes the Bible and Jesus is great, but what about the practical elements of life...managing money and budgeting honors God. What about serving others, and living beyond ourselves. Yes, reading the Bible is important and should be a part of training, but lets not miss a holistic approach. Pastor Kris said it so well this in todays devotional:
Bring them up means raise to maturity. The goal is a mature adult. Move towards it. Nothing exasperates more than treating a youth like a child. The teen years are the beginning of adulthood, not the end of childhood. Raise your kids to be mature. Trust them with responsibilities that matter.
So good! I over and over see where my kids will rise and often exceed the level of trust we extend when there is clarity and consistency in expectations. We just need to stop looking for perfection, and pursue growth and development with purposeful practice that is grace filled.
Fathers, you are called and equipped to be an incredible leader at home and with your kids. Dig in, pursue your calling with passion and intensity like you would if it were your job or your hobby. What could be more important than the legacy you will leave with your kids?