Funky Feelings
Funky Feelings - Colossians
Continuing in the letters of Paul, we enter Colossians today. I am not going to unpack chapter 1 today, and I am going to just write about some funky feelings I have been experiencing. We will fully dive into Colossians 1 tomorrow.
Feelings are a real thing; we all have them even if we are not “feelers.” I would be one of those who classify as a thinker, not a feeler. A joke around here, and with me, is I have one single feeling, and it often gets used up quickly, leaving none. I am not very emotionally expressive, and I am growing, but I still don’t have high emotional self-awareness. Reading this, you might just think I am dead inside, but it’s not that bad.
I say all of this because some funky feelings have been sitting with me, and grinding on me for a few weeks. Feelings that are not based on facts, emotions that are lies, and feelings that need to go away. Let me give you some context. One of the teams I lead at the church is our Open team, a group of amazing people who wake up every day focused on serving churches around the globe. This team freely shares resources with churches like sermons, videos, graphics, and everything we create at Life Church. We give EVERYTHING away for free. We also build software and technology tools to help churches. One of the tools we made is the Church Online Platform. This is a free piece of software that churches can use to create their Church Online service for their church. Yes, churches can visit a website, click a few buttons, and build their online church...for FREE. Life Church is living out the value of it is more blessed to give than to receive. I have the greatest job in the world, and it’s such a blessing to be a part of this team.
Back to funky feelings. You now have a little context, and allow me to layer on a little more. That church online platform tool has exploded in growth with the COVID-19 pandemic. We have seen 20,000+ churches sign up for a free account in the matter of a few weeks. TWENTY THOUSAND! What a blessing, and how amazing it is to see churches from all over the world starting a church online, and reaching their congregation and community. It’s been inspiring and exciting. But, at the same time, it has been extremely challenging. We are a very small team, and this new exponential growth has been incredibly overwhelming. Overwhelming from a support standpoint, helping churches on board and do something they have never done before. Training and teaching churches how to functionally do online ministry (something LIfe Church pioneered and has been doing for over 14yrs), and one of the hardest is the technology side to support the rapid growth and use of the system. It’s been a tough few weeks navigating this growth. The team has done a fantastic job, the church has rallied around it is a great way, all facts, but the feelings have been funky.
This weekend we experienced a significant technology outage due to growth and the overwhelming amount of churches using the system. This was not the first time; the same type of thing happened last weekend. For a few hours, at the most critical time on a Sunday morning, the systems collapsed, and we experienced a system outage. The overwhelming feeling of frustration, irritation, disappointment, and discouragement hits in those moments of utter helplessness. Sitting online in a video chat room with the team, and knowing I can do absolutely nothing to make this problem go away in the moment. Watching and knowing there are hurting and dying people across the globe that need the message of Jesus, and at this very moment, they can not receive it. The feelings of extreme gratitude and joy of having all these new churches online, the feeling of blessing knowing millions, and millions of people viewed church online last week come to a crash and now feelings of sickness and pure funk. A roller coaster of funky emotions.
The team and I are sincerely sorry for the outages that churches have experienced over the last two weekends. Trust me, it’s not due to lack of effort, skill, or planning. This weekend we solved the issue from last weekend, but unfortunately, we ran into a new issue that was not seen before. It is not a lack of systems, and we literally have the largest servers you can buy from Google! I suppose when you are doing something that has never been done before, you will run into challenges along the way.
Today, and this week I am fighting my feelings with facts. Back to Colossians and honestly all the letters from Paul. This morning I am reading Colossians as receiving the letter from Paul myself as a church leader.
“We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel that has come to you. In the same way, the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace.” - Colossians 1:3-6 NIV
This morning I am reading this knowing people are praying for me and us. Yes, our faith in Jesus and love for God's people runs deep and is what drives us every day. Yes, the gospel is indeed getting out to millions of people, bearing fruit and growing throughout the world. The real data and facts show us that just this Sat/Sun, we saw over 31,000 people indicate a decision to receive Christ. That was in only 48 hours.
“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.” - Colossians 1:9-12 NIV
Paul's letter to me this morning is encouraging, knowing the prayers are coming, and knowing the feelings I need to be countered with the facts. The Spirit that lives in me and dwells through me gives me hope, wisdom, and the ability to persevere. Today I am choosing joy, and today I am shedding the funk and rising internally to the reality of the truth. God is Good all the time.
I am not sure why I chose to share this today. But I am sure of this, leading from a place of funky feelings isn't fun, but it’s a part of leadership and life. The past few weeks have not been easy on any level; I have only shared about one of five teams I have the privilege of leading. I have the greatest team in the world and the most amazing leaders you can imagine. I am choosing to step into today with great hope, great faith, great courage, and strength that only comes from the invisible God, Jesus Christ, who lives and dwells inside of me. This week is going to be hard, long, and challenging, but that does not give me pause or concern because I know what the mystery is.
“the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people. To them, God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” - Colossians 1:26-27 NIV
If you are fighting funky feeling today, turn to Jesus. Fight feelings with facts, and a key fact is Christ is in you, and He is the hope and glory! Lord may we honor and glorify your name today. God give me the wisdom and strength to lead well and give you the praise and glory for all things. Holy Spirit come alive in a way I have never experienced and give me the fuel today I need to serve today. Amen.